You will know them by their fruit.

You don't need to know a Christian by his fruit.   The key is to know the church by it's fruit.  If the church produces bad Christians then go to a different church.  You can easily tell if a church is loving when choosing a church as an outsider since how they treat you is easy to determine. It's easy to love those who love you.  What's hard for them to love you if they don't know you so if a church treats you the outsider with love then it's probably a good church.  The Bible isn't about confusion.  It's confusing to tell whether a christian himself bears good fruit or not.   We aren't here to judge individuals.  What purpose does that serve other than to make us judgemental?   You know a church by it's fruit.   That way if the members treat you badly you aren't judging them you are judging the doctrine of the church that produced them.  There's no judgement involved of people only the doctrine which is inanimate and has no feelings to hurt by your judging it.   A good church produces good fruit a bad church produces bad fruit.   I went to this one church and quickly I found out it's producing bad fruit.     If only the Pastor is friendly then he's probably teaching a flawed message.    He himself is a good person but his message is bad.   If he himself is of poor character and his doctrine is good then the church will probably be good.  It seems unlikely that that would be the case though.    If you find yourself struggling with sin perhaps your attending the wrong church.  It could be that the teaching is too harsh.   Anyhow the whole point of the wheat vs tears is that it's now our place to judge.

Don't feel bad about checking out different churches.   You are way better off learning from different people every week than having one teacher for years.     How much can one guy teach you anyway.  But if it's a good church you could learn a lot.   If you find a good church you've found a pearl.   You're like the guy who found buried treasure.    Love is the most important thing.  If you struggle with some sin maybe go to a church where the members don't struggle with the things you struggle with.  I doubt it will turn out to be a judgemental church though.  The most judgemental people struggle with the very things they are judgemental about.